Many of us think of trauma as rape, war, accidents, physical abuse, sexual abuse, witnessing or being a victim of a crime as the only thing that merits seeking help from a professional.
I believe many of us don’t allow ourselves to identify with the terms ‘being traumatized’ or having a diagnosis of PTSD because they don’t feel that their trauma was significant enough.
However, we know from research that even the lack of sufficient attunement from Parent to Child in infancy is considered a trauma. What do I mean by attunement? It is an interpersonal connection that allows two people to experience a sense of connection. It is genuine attention. It is listening with mind, body, heart and soul.
Babies require an attuned adult to help them develop their capacity to self-regulate. What does it mean to regulate the self? It means to return from a state of arousal. It means to return to calm when something in the environment is startling or evoking overwhelming emotion. When babies don’t have this present and attuned adult to help them soothe, their nervous system may start developing other mechanisms to self-cope, such as dissociation, tuning out, zoning out, or turning to distractions. (When tuning out or turning to distractions become habitual, you can see how this may manifest into “troublesome or unwanted behaviours” as an adult.)
In Addition To Lack Of Attunement, There Any Many Other Small And Medium Traumas That Can Cause Cumulative Stress In An Individual. Such As…
A lack of emotional understanding
emotional abuse, being yelled at, called names, manipulated, taken advantage of, threatened with abandonment
being bullied by parents, siblings, peers, or others
being ignored
having overbearing parents
getting too much attention (intrusion), overstimulation
not succeeding in school
losing a job
feeling we could not measure up to our parents’ standards or our siblings’ accomplishments (i.e. not as book smart, athletic, extroverted or socially adept)
feeling different or alone for any reason, including gender differences, mental or physical disability, sexual orientation, body type, socioeconomic status, cultural issues
moving
divorce
a parent remarrying
blending families
infidelity
adopting or having a child
being adopted
conflict or estrangement with family members
legal troubles
physical or mental illness
physical injury
having a sick family member at risk of dying
having an incarcerated parent
being incarcerated
having a family member who suffers from addiction
having a depressed parent
having a parent with mental health issues or trauma
poverty
oppression
racism
misogyny
being the target of prejudice/judgement
emigrating
inability to meet social expectations (religion, community)
We believe that addressing all traumas, no matter how small they seem, to be the solution to feeling better and living better. Working through these experiences in Trauma Therapy or Anxiety Counselling can help you process both major and subtle traumas, creating lasting healing.Our founder & RCC, Angela Leong, works extensively with trauma survivors and supports clients in uncovering and healing from both big and small traumatic experiences.Are you ready to give yourself the gift of therapy? You can book a session today and take the first step toward releasing the weight of trauma and building a healthier future.