When it comes to this questions, there are two ways to go about it. There is a rote way and the natural way.
Let’s start with the rote way:
(1) Remember that people’s own name is the sweetest sound to their ears. As soon as someone tells you their name, say it back to them in conversation with expressed curiosity about who they are.
(2) People are always looking for an opportunity to be interesting to someone. Engage them fully with your whole body. Listen with rapture. Respond appropriately, asking for more details. Don’t fake your interest. People can tell.
(3) Compliment the other. Brighten someone’s day. The world can always use more of that.
(4) Be open-minded. Don’t get defensive if someone expresses a view that’s different from yours. It is through open mindedness that we develop creative thought.
If you’re too distracted by your environment, your own thoughts, or the sensations in your body to be fully engaged with the other, you are welcomed to speak with one of our therapists about what that is about.
The natural way to connecting with people:
This person simply shows up as they are: open, interested, in flow with their environment and without an agenda. They share themselves while allowing space for others to share who they are. It’s a quiet confidence. One can achieve this state through finding a groundedness in themselves and who they are, typically through self-work, such as clinical counselling or psychotherapy.