Defense mechanisms, a term originally coined by Sigmund Freud, are the creative maneuvers the mind makes to spare us from feeling discomfort or psychological pain. These mechanisms are a response to avoid or delay anxiety, shame and guilt. Freud described these mechanisms as being unconscious, and at times they are. There are times when we can be unaware of what we are doing to avoid feeling bad.
Defense Mechanisms, or defenses for short, are not always a bad thing. They are helpful in the short term, like when we watch a funny when we need a break from a stressful assignment. So as long as we don’t overdo our use of defenses, they can be considered healthy. Defenses utilized long term however, ultimately keep us from experiencing our true core feelings. When chronically used, all the mental exertion required to ‘stuff down our feelings’ will take toll on our bodies. (See Dr. Gabor Mate’s book titled When The Body Says No, he cites literature which supports the fact that when we suppress our emotions, illness such as ALS and cancer can develop).This mind-body connection is powerful, and we’ve explored it further in our post on Understanding Trauma: The Impact of Big and Small Traumatic Events.
Are you aware of the things you do to avoid emotions, confrontations, conflict and uncomfortable situations? A defense can be any thought, action or maneuver we make avoid feelings of anxiety, shame, guilt or other distressing feelings.
Some Common Defenses Are:
joking
laughing
sarcasm
smiling
worrying
ruminating
vagueness
changing the subject
avoiding eye contact
eye rolling
mumbling
not talking
talking too much
not listening
spacing out
tiredness
criticizing
perfectionism
procrastination
preoccupation
irritability
negative thinking
judging others
judging ourselves
prejudice
arrogance
misogyny
misdirected aggression (getting angry at your dog when you’re really angry about something your boss said)
working too much
numbness
helplessness
overexercising
overeating
undereating
being secretive
cutting
obsessing
addictions
suicidal ideations
being wreckless
In conclusion, when we utilize defenses to suppress emotions, there will be costs to our well-being. The tension between the core emotions that beg to be recognized and the defenses that push back to keep them underground and hidden from consciousness take up our precious and finite energy. Think of it as a hidden, chronic stress that you are carrying around. Once you release the tension, you will feel lighter and calmer. Working through these defenses in Trauma Therapy or Anxiety Counselling can help you release suppressed emotions safely and begin reconnecting with your authentic self.
Defenses also keep us from experiencing our authentic selves — the person you would be if you weren’t held back by shame, guilt and anxiety. Our therapists, like Angela Leong, specialize in helping clients notice and dismantle defenses so they can move toward greater emotional freedom.
If you’re ready to explore your own defenses and begin releasing the weight of suppressed emotions, book a session today. Taking this step can help you reconnect with your authentic self.