When it comes to these questions, there are two ways to go about it. There is a rote way and a natural way.
Rote Way
(1) Remember that people’s own name is the sweetest sound to their ears. As soon as someone tells you their name, say it back to them in conversation with expressed curiosity about who they are.
(2) People are always looking for an opportunity to be interesting to someone. Engage them fully with your whole body. Listen with rapture. Respond appropriately, asking for more details. Don’t fake your interest. People can tell.
(3) Compliment the other. Brighten someone’s day. The world can always use more of that.
(4) Be open-minded. Don’t get defensive if someone expresses a view that’s different from yours. It is through open-mindedness that we develop creative thought.
If you’re too distracted by your environment, your own thoughts, or the sensations in your body to be fully engaged with the other, you are welcome to speak with one of our therapists, such as Angela Leong, about what that is about.
Natural Way
This person simply shows up as they are: open, interested, in flow with their environment, and without an agenda. They share themselves while allowing space for others to share who they are. It’s a quiet confidence. One can achieve this state through finding a groundedness in themselves and who they are, typically through self-work, such as clinical counselling or psychotherapy. Our Couples Therapy and Somatic Therapy services support individuals and couples in building these genuine connections.
For simple steps you can practice today, see our blog Enhancing Your Relationship in Just 5 Minutes.
If you’d like support in creating more authentic and meaningful connections, book a session with us today.
Photo by monstera from pexels.